Tuesday, May 16, 2006

THE EMPTY NEST

You know that giving up and letting go is something you will have to do but when the time comes and you must do it getting through it will be the hardest thing you've ever done. One by one the children leave to start a life as husband, wife or just to live independently. And it becomes apparent that you, as a parent, concede the authority over kids who once looked to you to tell them what they should and shouldn't or could or couldn't do.

The removal of the approval of that sacred right of parenthood becomes the first test you must face on that lonely road to the Empty Nest.

Their moving out without a doubt leaves a lump of loneliness in the throat and heart. It is as though a part of you has died and left a void inside, an empty place you tell yourself Time will erase. But Time is the thief that caused the grief. How can Time also bring relief? Will Time take long? Will it be brief?

Time lingers on in many ways. Silence plays its little tricks. Do you hear that CD booming in his empty room? Is she all alone, chatting on the telephone? The sounds of children, running feet, 'fridge open-shut, "What's to eat?" "Ma, it's cold. Turn up the heat!" "Gotta date! Gotta go! Y'know. Y'know."

Memories of emergencies. His broken arm. No great harm. "How's it feel?"
"No big deal! It'll heal. It'll heal."

"Fever's up to a-hundred three. Still going up. Can't stand the way she looks at me." "Help me, Mommie. I 'm so hot." "What should I do? Please tell me!" "Get her to the hospital. I'll meet you in Emergency!."

How do these memories find their way into the the echo chambers of the mind? Happenings of the past won't rest. They are the memories that lay waiting in the hidden shadows of the empty nest.

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