THE WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM
I was a member of a football team than rose to fame and esteem because they never lost a game. They never once conceded and never ever cheated and, of course, were undefeated. Season after season the reason they kept winning was they had a special play that blew the other team away.
The coach was a cockroach, his assistant was a big red ant and the mascot was a poison ivy plant. When the opposition was in a position to win, Coach Roach sent in the second team---a giant worm, a slug, a jitterbug, a litterbug, a black widow spider, two lice, a couple mice, a mite that might bite, a termite that did, a few more bugs who hid in the crotch of a fan on watch from the five yard line.
When the other side eyed the second team on the field, they squealed and didn't know what to do. They had the ball and the quarterback was about to rack up the touchdown that would end the streak of the winning team. This Coach Roach's pride could not abide.
Ants got in the pants of the tackle and he began to itch like hell. The giant worm in the helmet of the guard made it hard for him to see and he responded repulsively. The spider landed on the ball of the other sider headed for a sure touchdown.
The jitterbug and litterbug danced with the mice and their act distracted the fans from knowing what was going on. Then the bugs in the crotch of the fan on the five yard line joined in the fray. And the lice jumped on the heads of the opposition, putting them in such a condition that all they could do was scratch and scratch so when the football with the spider on board soared in the air there was nobody there to make the catch except the mite or termite, which ever it was it was hard to tell, grabbed the ball and ran pellmell to the other goal.
And that's how his team won the Cereal Bowl.
The coach was a cockroach, his assistant was a big red ant and the mascot was a poison ivy plant. When the opposition was in a position to win, Coach Roach sent in the second team---a giant worm, a slug, a jitterbug, a litterbug, a black widow spider, two lice, a couple mice, a mite that might bite, a termite that did, a few more bugs who hid in the crotch of a fan on watch from the five yard line.
When the other side eyed the second team on the field, they squealed and didn't know what to do. They had the ball and the quarterback was about to rack up the touchdown that would end the streak of the winning team. This Coach Roach's pride could not abide.
Ants got in the pants of the tackle and he began to itch like hell. The giant worm in the helmet of the guard made it hard for him to see and he responded repulsively. The spider landed on the ball of the other sider headed for a sure touchdown.
The jitterbug and litterbug danced with the mice and their act distracted the fans from knowing what was going on. Then the bugs in the crotch of the fan on the five yard line joined in the fray. And the lice jumped on the heads of the opposition, putting them in such a condition that all they could do was scratch and scratch so when the football with the spider on board soared in the air there was nobody there to make the catch except the mite or termite, which ever it was it was hard to tell, grabbed the ball and ran pellmell to the other goal.
And that's how his team won the Cereal Bowl.
posted by Ed Weiland at 8:34 PM
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