I WANT TO WED AND GO TO BED

If a repulsive caterpillar can become a beautiful butterfly and an ugly duckling can turn into a graceful swan, why can't I, a far from good looking guy, become a Don Juan who makes the maidens swoon in the marrying month of June?

I want to wed and go to bed with a redhead or brunette or any woman I can get who will let me pet a bit and do whatever it might lead to or proceed to and you know what kind of love I have in mind.

So far my lovelife's been OK in a conventional way, but frankly it has been a bore. I'm not asking for more. I just want variety and impropriety in my sexuality. Does lovemaking have to be mostly faking, forsaking an orgasm far less thrilling just to do it with a dame in the same missionary way? Just once in a while why can't I see less smile and instead an enduring, alluring look telling me she can't wait to mate with me?

What I seek is complex sex. A little less of "Yes! Yes! Yes!" and a lot more of "More! More! More!" On the floor. In a revolving door. On the shore or in a hardware store. This is what I need. This is what I plead. This is how I want to plant my seed. Yes indeed! Yes indeed!