BEFORE THE BEGINNING

Before the beginning nothing began. There was no sun, no moon or stars, no cars or highways to run them on, everything that never was was gone before it came. Things that didn't exist had no name.

There was no space to occupy the space that didn't exist, that waited in the windless, airless air for uncreated creations to be created. There was nothing that would be something. Ain't it dumb that the future would become the past after risin' on the horizon?

All was peace and quiet on the edge of silence waiting for God and science to reach compliance and agree to disagree on who created creation and Darwin's solution to evolution, weather forecasting whether wrong or right, plastics to replace leather and every other substitute so we wouldn't have to shoot brutes to satisfy fashion institutes who created everything from boots to bras and pantyhose and girly shows which expose two of these and one those, and less exotic things like toes and nose.

Then without warning or prediction, be it fact or science fiction, the big bang banged and when the dust had settled down there were cities, towns and wedding gowns, ups and downs and kings and crowns to fill new space that previously didn't exist. But how could there be a language to name things that couldn't be named when there was no lexicographer to write it in the Big Bang Book?

Names or not, there were lots and plots to be bought and developed and addresses placed on envelops with hopes that posts would reach the coasts and all the boats where ghosts held winter wieney-roasts.

There still was nobody to name the nameless and bless the blameless. Enter God, a former elf, who created himself. And with the creation of the Creator all uncreated creations could be created.