I GOT ME A NEW BODY

I went to the used body store and traded myself in for a newer model equipped with a recycled heart and assorted other parts. The surgeon threw a free slice of liver in for free because the deal was strictly cash per slash and he was a real cut up who kept a cup of blood by his side just in case he needed to cut to the chase.

The operation was going well until the doc smelled a smell and discovered the body I had bought suffered from chronic constipation. "No problem," the surgeon said, dug a hole in my belly and scooped out the poop.

As he was throwing my old brain down the drain, I said, "If you don't mind I'd kind of like to keep it as a spare."

With that my discarded brain started to complain. "Are you insane? Just flush away. There's a cute piece of lobotomy waiting for me passionately."

"How can you mesh with just a piece of moldy old cranial flesh?" the surgeon asked.

"It doesn't matter. He loves my fatty matter and the bottom of my anatomy," said Miss Lobotomy.

With that the surgeon yelled: "Hey, you two, cut the matter chatter clatter or I'll splatter you with my cup of blood!"

"Sawbones," I said. "leave us alone and finish this job soon or I'll be dead."

"I've half a mind to cut your mind in half," surgeon said with a laugh. He took a knife and slice, slice, slice well diced and preserved in ice, it was still a good deal at any price.