ONCE UPON A RUMOR

A billion trillion years from now when the earth's no longer here and the moon and stars have outlived their warranty and Disney and Wal-Mart have merged with NBC, CBS and FoxTV and all our families have ceased to be and Christmas trees and cottage cheese and all the ships at sea and coffee, tea and chicken soup have gone the way of the hula-hoop and all the angels are living on Social Security and all the banks have declared bankruptcy, when corner bars have moved to Mars and Baby Ruths are free, and whatever is forever and forever's history, who will solve the mystery of how we came to be?

When Jack and Jill went up the hill without their pill and came down with a daughter. when Mary was not quite contrary and did it with an otter and Goldielox and the Big Bad Fox had lox and bagels for their dinner, when Snow White went to bed one night with Dopey, Doc and Sneezy and found that pleasing them all at once was really very easy, when Cinderella met a fellla and he gave her a slippery slipper and Jack the Giant Killer fought Phyllis Diller and she was the winner, when Alice went to Wonderland and we wonder where she went, it's rumored that she was living with a camel in a tent, and Mother Goose played fast and loose and mated with a moose and did, indeed produce a baby and they named her Jucy Luce.

Now I admit that every bit I reported is distorted. pure rumor and sick humor, untruths overheard in telephone booth. falsehoods spread by Robinhood, verified by Adam and Eve, I do believe, and though it all may be unfair I dare you to deny it, With this I close my bit of prose, Ain't it all a riot!