VIRGINS ON THE VERGE
When an Arab dies and goes to that holiest of holes in the sky he expects a welcoming committee of vibrant virgins on fire and filled with desire to satisfy his urges instantly. He's greeted instead by scores of whores, street walkers and smut talkers to do his bidding and they ain't kidding.
Like, Virgins are on the verge of a Mosque-wide strike and they ain't gonna lay till they get extra pay even though their demands as future ladies of the night are out of sight. They want guarantees against sex layoffs, a day off to watch the playoffs and extra pay for hard positions. They want less freebees for obstetricians, treatment for their inhibitions and time and a half for exhibitions.
They want to negotiate that when they work late and endure frustrations with partners who have multiple ejaculations and guarantees the gents they're sent will not be impotent.
All future contracts must state they get a discount on condom rates, free tests for AIDS and related diseases. And most of all, they be granted a vacation and time and a half if they become victims of impregnation.
Like, Virgins are on the verge of a Mosque-wide strike and they ain't gonna lay till they get extra pay even though their demands as future ladies of the night are out of sight. They want guarantees against sex layoffs, a day off to watch the playoffs and extra pay for hard positions. They want less freebees for obstetricians, treatment for their inhibitions and time and a half for exhibitions.
They want to negotiate that when they work late and endure frustrations with partners who have multiple ejaculations and guarantees the gents they're sent will not be impotent.
All future contracts must state they get a discount on condom rates, free tests for AIDS and related diseases. And most of all, they be granted a vacation and time and a half if they become victims of impregnation.
posted by Ed Weiland at 9:54 AM
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