IN PRAISE OF THE BAGEL

This big brown bagel is the pride of my breakfast table, a stable nosh, by gosh, of my diet. It comes plain or whole grain, topped with poppy seeds or sesames, with cream cheese and lots of lox it will knock you off your socks. With spam or ham it's damn good. But kosher? Noshir, it is not!

Onion, garlic, pumpernickel (with a pickle on the side) or just with a schmear and an ice cold glass of beer should keep your belly satisfied and gratified.

Bagels are delicious but not nutritious. When fully baked take out your choppers before you bite. A well-baked bagel might break your fake pearly whites.

This roll with a hole looks like a donut but it is nut. It could lie heavy in your gut. But that's what it's supposed to do. Gentile or Jew, Arab too, a bagel is the right midnight snack for you.