Monday, February 19, 2007


We, the result of creation. created civilization, nations, expectations and anticipations of long, expensive summer vacations. Appetites of our salivating minds conceived many kinds of gastronomical gimmicks, like weekend picnics with lots of finger lickin' chicken, beer in cans, delis to provide the sides like slaw and raw oyster stew, chips and dips, candy, cake and popcorn, too, and other foods that fit the mood like olives, pickles, dill. sweet and sour that disappear within the hour. And by far, a car to get you where you care to be for this ingestive, festive spree.

So it's fair we should declare a war on diet cheating, self defeating overeating, family meetings that begin with raucous greetings of uncles, aunts and cousins by the dozens and flies and fleas and bees a-buzzin' in anticipation of leftover rations and libations, all party to such vacation recreation convocations.

If your belly swells, hells bells, blame it on the deli filled with all those tempting smells of corned beef and pastrami, ham (not Spam) and jam (not jelly) fresh baked rolls and crusty bagels, lox and cream cheese and fresh sliced onions, please. Don't miss the Swiss or stacks of snacks or racks of lamb and wear a bib when eating those greasy ribs.

Don't go out without sauerkraut and just about every salad mix the chef can fix. All those dreamy, cream-filled pies, cookies, cakes, hot dogs, steaks and whatever wakes the juices and takes excuses to justify abuses of saturated fats and cholesterol and other no-no's you should control.

Why get upset? Heartburn hasn't reached your belly yet. Sure it will. The only cure, don't fill your plate with 8 of this and 6 of that that make you 6 and fat and 4 more than what is good 4 you and 2 much of such and such.

If you wake up late at night remember what you 8, turn off the light and go 2 bed, you well-fed ton of lead.


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