ROMANCE IN PANTS AND OTHER PLACES

Minnie was skinny, Matt was fat. She was a cat, he was a rat. How could two be more opposite than that? But they happened to meet in a hat they found on the street and after a chat fell in love and that was that.

Matt was smitten with this furry kitten and they proceeded to breed which is what creatures do. But Minnie, forlorn, mourned, "Where will we live when our babies are born?"

"No problem with that," said Matt the rat. "We'll live in the hat."

"Wow!" meowed Minnie. "I never thought of that."

So they moved in and made the hat home, but soon came a man with a head as bare as a bear's derriere. He picked up the hat, put it on his dome and they were evicted from their new home. But wait! Their fate was a about to get better, They moved into a moth-eaten sweater in a Goodwill store, made love in a glove, took a rest in a vest, a snooze in a pair of old Army shoes.

They soon had a family of forty or more and cats, rats, bats and gnats took over the store. There were ants in the pants, flies wearing ties and all sorts shared shirts, skirts and shorts. The store got crowded, but they didn't lose heart. There's always Sears, Target and especially Wal-Mart.