DAMN THE DIETS!

If there were no sugar plums and cokie crumbs, salad bars and candy bars, ice cream cones and griddle scones, pizza pies and crisp, French fries, egg yolks and Cokes, burgers on the grille and foods high in cholesterol, sweets and pastry treats, pickles to make the tummy ache, pork-chops sopped in globs of gravy, how would physicians make big fees telling fatties what and what not to eat?

I praise gourmets who rave about foods, food-lovers crave, so spare me diets if you please. I'm hooked on calories when in an eating mood. Don't give me low cal, low fat foods. I want to salivate in my plate. Let no taste go to waste.

I know it may seem absurd, but I check my watch for the earlybird. I know it's bad for me to eat deserts until it hurts, that I'll have to pay eventually for my excess, my compulsion ingest foods that make me pop the buttons on my vest, my molars will not let me rest so I chew the whole day through, drooling like an utter fool.

Please pass the peanut-butter and strawberry jam, another slice of ham, a candied yam, some yum-yum-yums and a couple Tums.

Damn the diets! Full FEED Ahead!