A POEM ABOUT ME

I went to my funeral for I was dead.
My family was there and everyone said
There lies the man who used to be Ed.
But the strangest thing I happen to see when I went to pay my respects to me
Was a corpse as live as a corpse can be.
All of the mourners were wiping their eyes.
And all of my friends were telling nice lies
About the once me who was there in disguise.
All my survivors were greatly annoyed
That one who was I was now in a void,
Unwanted, unloved and now unemployed.
My soul was uncertain just where to go.
To the place up above or that down place below,
Aflame with the fires of hell all aglow.
And so I said with a smirk and a sneer
In a voice that I'm sure the mourners couldn't hear:
"If you don't mind, I'll stay right here"