A QUICKIE ABOUT MICKEY

Would you believe---It could only happen in Hollywood. For years the Disney corporation's claim to fame was its animation. You've heard of their stars, Mickey and Minnie, you know, Pluto and Daffy Duck with a yuck-yuck-yuck. Snow White and her seven tiny schmucks. Animals who sing and dance. No hint of sex but some romance.

That was back in the good old days and the ways of Walt, perfectionist to a fault. But when he died, the movie moguls did decide they could no longer avoid putting humanoids on celluloid. So they hired lothario heroes and other lovers, some obscene, to dominate the silver screen, some to display sexual effects , others just for downright sex. A brand new scenario stole the show and X-rate Mickey, away we go!

Now there's a lot of hot romance and stars and starlets with desire and fire in their gasps and pants . Cartoon characters don't stand a chance. They've become outdated. P-rated, relegated to whoopty-doopty Betty Boop and Popeye's "goil," Oliveoyle.

Ain't it strange how things have changed? What once was smut now is art. To get a part an actress must jump in bed and shed her clothes and reveal her thems and these and those and expose whatever goes between their fingers and their toes. No longer could Hollywood win with stars that hid their skin, and Mickey Mouse and all his kin became has-beens in this age of sex and sin.

But the PR guys were very wise. Just portray Mickey gay and that will say it's all OK with the hipsters on old Broadway. Like, Minnie will become a dyke. And Donald Duck will---you know. As for the rest, we'll arrange a little Homo on the Range.

Immorality was meant to be. Sex and sin will set us free! As Porky Pig used to say: "Tha..Tha...Tha...That's...All...F...F..Folks."

W...W...Will... S...Somebody P...-P...Please P...P...Pass...The P...P...Porn...I Mean Popcorn.