DEATH DELAYED BY LOVE
A loaded gun lay at his side. A Bible in his hand. "This ol' pain ah cain't abide," he cried. "Dear Lord, help me understand." Amos wasn't much on writing. But he was done at fighting what had to be. "Got to write the family. I know I should. Ain't gonna tell them why. Just wanna say goodbye. My kids, my grandbaby. Maybe someday they understand what I 'bout to do."
He picked up the gun, put the barrel to his head. "Soon's I pull the trigger I be dead," he said, then put down the gun and a frown etched his fear. A roar like a howling wind pierced his ears, penetrated his brain.
"Is I crazy. God? Is I insane?" He heard a voice, faint but clear. In his right ear where he was stone deaf. "The left be the the onliest good ear I got good." In spite of his plight he had to laugh. "God give everybody two. Then he take one o' mine away day I borrned. Was meant to be.
"Kids wanted buy me a hearing aid when I make ninty-three, 'Naw,' I say. 'Lord decided how I should be. Don' stick no wire in my ear. I hear good enough all these years. 'Pears I live some more the way I Is'. Kids, they lovin' me. I loves them powerfully."
Pain like lightening came again. Wouldn't go away. His trembling hand picked up the gun. "I be done thinking 'bout things they in the past. I got to do it fast, do it shore. Guess it hurt a second, then hurt no more. Then I be at peace at the feet of sweet Lord Jesus. He meet me at the Golden Gate. I say, "God, why you wait fo' me?" He say, "Moses, you my son." Then I say to God, "I be black. You be white." I look up and God he black. Jus' like me."
Now I know what I got to do. My finger wrap around the trigger. I sure I gonna die It what I about to do. Then the strangest thing. The telephone ring. It be dead 'cause I don't pay the bill. Figure I will one day I get the
money. Somehow, funny, it be ringin' now. I picks it up. hold the phone to my deaf right ear. I hear clear's a bell. It little Dandy. My kids name her that 'cause that's what she be, a fine an' Dandy chile, "Hi, Gramps," she say. "Why you callin'?" I say. "Ain't you 'posed to be in a school?" She say, "Gramps don't be foolin' me. It Sunday. Why ain't you be at church?" I 'bout to say I got this date with God, but I just nod. She say, "This be our special day. I don't remember but Mama remind me, today the anniversary of the day you save my life when those white boys come after me." I smile. I put the gun away and say. "I do remember. Indeed I do." Then Dandy say, "I love you, Gramps. And Mama say remind that ol' fool---that's how she say it---she say, you come here eat tonight. We celebrate our special day."
Then Dandy say, "Bye now. Gramps. I loves you...powerfully, like you say." And I say, "Y'all go out and play. I be there by an' by."
Moses hung up the phone, put the gun away and began to cry. He looked to the heavens, gave a nod. He whispered softly, "Thank you, God."
He picked up the gun, put the barrel to his head. "Soon's I pull the trigger I be dead," he said, then put down the gun and a frown etched his fear. A roar like a howling wind pierced his ears, penetrated his brain.
"Is I crazy. God? Is I insane?" He heard a voice, faint but clear. In his right ear where he was stone deaf. "The left be the the onliest good ear I got good." In spite of his plight he had to laugh. "God give everybody two. Then he take one o' mine away day I borrned. Was meant to be.
"Kids wanted buy me a hearing aid when I make ninty-three, 'Naw,' I say. 'Lord decided how I should be. Don' stick no wire in my ear. I hear good enough all these years. 'Pears I live some more the way I Is'. Kids, they lovin' me. I loves them powerfully."
Pain like lightening came again. Wouldn't go away. His trembling hand picked up the gun. "I be done thinking 'bout things they in the past. I got to do it fast, do it shore. Guess it hurt a second, then hurt no more. Then I be at peace at the feet of sweet Lord Jesus. He meet me at the Golden Gate. I say, "God, why you wait fo' me?" He say, "Moses, you my son." Then I say to God, "I be black. You be white." I look up and God he black. Jus' like me."
Now I know what I got to do. My finger wrap around the trigger. I sure I gonna die It what I about to do. Then the strangest thing. The telephone ring. It be dead 'cause I don't pay the bill. Figure I will one day I get the
money. Somehow, funny, it be ringin' now. I picks it up. hold the phone to my deaf right ear. I hear clear's a bell. It little Dandy. My kids name her that 'cause that's what she be, a fine an' Dandy chile, "Hi, Gramps," she say. "Why you callin'?" I say. "Ain't you 'posed to be in a school?" She say, "Gramps don't be foolin' me. It Sunday. Why ain't you be at church?" I 'bout to say I got this date with God, but I just nod. She say, "This be our special day. I don't remember but Mama remind me, today the anniversary of the day you save my life when those white boys come after me." I smile. I put the gun away and say. "I do remember. Indeed I do." Then Dandy say, "I love you, Gramps. And Mama say remind that ol' fool---that's how she say it---she say, you come here eat tonight. We celebrate our special day."
Then Dandy say, "Bye now. Gramps. I loves you...powerfully, like you say." And I say, "Y'all go out and play. I be there by an' by."
Moses hung up the phone, put the gun away and began to cry. He looked to the heavens, gave a nod. He whispered softly, "Thank you, God."
posted by Ed Weiland at 10:53 AM
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