DARWIN WINS
Come along sinners, disbelievers, you believe you are believers, you doubters, want to find-outers, Intelligent Designers, Creationist insisters, evolutionist enthusiasts. Come with me on a spin to Darwinland and maybe you'll understand why the chicken came before the egg way back when the world began and there wasn't even a rooster or a hen.
But keep in mind if you find find mistakes in the claims I make take them with a gain of salt. It's not my fault. I've never kissed my therapist and I'm not a scientist. If that makes no sense I guess what I'm about to spout will make even less.
Let's begin. When the beginning began there was no man, no electric fan or garbage can or anything else that rhymes with "an." There was not a dress, no no or yes, more or less, but there was a mess caused by God who got the blame which was a shame which was odd because there was no word that rhymed with Lord or God or whatever which was odd because nobody ever read Webster's Dictionary or books on prehistoric history. But I digress, As I said there was a mess and for what it's worth, somebody somewhere named it Earth.
This mess was just a lot of smoke and fire, ice and maybe bugs like roaches and lice and tiny mice but no dinosaurs or carnivores or baseball scores. There was a lot of swirling slop that would be named protozoa long before Noah built his ark or the world turned dark or God destroyed what He created and that word led to "creator," then "creation," which rhymes with "constipation," which started all this consternation over whether the Creator got the credit for creating Earth or that anal irritation.
For may a millenniums everything was hunky-dorey because everybody believed the story, that the Creator created it all and that led to Creationism which became the wisdom of the times. Then came Darwin from some foreign town who turned everything around who said Evolution did it all and he started a revolution which robbed God of his fame. But all the same, even Evolution is a game proponents and opponents of theory, science and the Bible play. But who cares, anyway? It does appear we all got here and we'll all stay, at least temporarily.
But keep in mind if you find find mistakes in the claims I make take them with a gain of salt. It's not my fault. I've never kissed my therapist and I'm not a scientist. If that makes no sense I guess what I'm about to spout will make even less.
Let's begin. When the beginning began there was no man, no electric fan or garbage can or anything else that rhymes with "an." There was not a dress, no no or yes, more or less, but there was a mess caused by God who got the blame which was a shame which was odd because there was no word that rhymed with Lord or God or whatever which was odd because nobody ever read Webster's Dictionary or books on prehistoric history. But I digress, As I said there was a mess and for what it's worth, somebody somewhere named it Earth.
This mess was just a lot of smoke and fire, ice and maybe bugs like roaches and lice and tiny mice but no dinosaurs or carnivores or baseball scores. There was a lot of swirling slop that would be named protozoa long before Noah built his ark or the world turned dark or God destroyed what He created and that word led to "creator," then "creation," which rhymes with "constipation," which started all this consternation over whether the Creator got the credit for creating Earth or that anal irritation.
For may a millenniums everything was hunky-dorey because everybody believed the story, that the Creator created it all and that led to Creationism which became the wisdom of the times. Then came Darwin from some foreign town who turned everything around who said Evolution did it all and he started a revolution which robbed God of his fame. But all the same, even Evolution is a game proponents and opponents of theory, science and the Bible play. But who cares, anyway? It does appear we all got here and we'll all stay, at least temporarily.
posted by Ed Weiland at 10:09 AM
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