IT ALL STARTED WITH A SNEEZE
Most addicts are erratic when it comes to their obsession to a certain drug or food and sometimes when in a hostile mood they will succumb, no matter what might come, to the addiction despite the friction it will cause in their life.
It could be drugs or tobacco that bugs and makes them whacko or alcohol that causes them to stumble and to fall, but overall, all addictions are the same in that they control the victim and inflict the punishment meant for those who can't oppose the obsessive need that grows and grows whenever they're exposed to it.
Well, this is about a sailor who resisted what his brain insisted: "You don't need it!" But I did, you see. The sailor was me.
I'm not addicted to coffee or tea, to cola. beer or lemonade. Gin's not the thing that pulls me in. Wine's not my vice. I'm addicted to a CUBE OF ICE. I must have one in my mouth to suck and chew and do the other things I do. Whether weather's hot or cold, I'm sold on ice. Chewing gum is dumb, chewing ice is nice. I'm a sucker who likes to suck and lick. My schtick is ICE!
I was sailing in a place where it was always cold, bitter as could be, zero minus 93. When my mates were drinking hot, that was not for me. I kept ice in my mouth, chewing furiously. I always had replacement cubes in my hat. When one cube melted or was diced by my chewing I knew what I was doing, I took another cube from my hat and that was that.
Well once, excuse me please, I had to sneeze and when I did a brand new cube flew from my mouth and landed in the icy sea. I heard it cry, "I'm free! I'm free! The icy sea is where I want to be!" And as what happens frequently, the cube bumped into a chippie chip and they kissed and the rest was history.
They made out in the ocean famously which caused no commotion because all the chips at sea were doing it, you see. And baby chips grew up quickly from cold and tiny to mighty glaciers in the briny. And, oh! the cube was proud. He shouted it out loud. I was saved by a sneeze and the warming welcome of the cold, cold seas!"
It could be drugs or tobacco that bugs and makes them whacko or alcohol that causes them to stumble and to fall, but overall, all addictions are the same in that they control the victim and inflict the punishment meant for those who can't oppose the obsessive need that grows and grows whenever they're exposed to it.
Well, this is about a sailor who resisted what his brain insisted: "You don't need it!" But I did, you see. The sailor was me.
I'm not addicted to coffee or tea, to cola. beer or lemonade. Gin's not the thing that pulls me in. Wine's not my vice. I'm addicted to a CUBE OF ICE. I must have one in my mouth to suck and chew and do the other things I do. Whether weather's hot or cold, I'm sold on ice. Chewing gum is dumb, chewing ice is nice. I'm a sucker who likes to suck and lick. My schtick is ICE!
I was sailing in a place where it was always cold, bitter as could be, zero minus 93. When my mates were drinking hot, that was not for me. I kept ice in my mouth, chewing furiously. I always had replacement cubes in my hat. When one cube melted or was diced by my chewing I knew what I was doing, I took another cube from my hat and that was that.
Well once, excuse me please, I had to sneeze and when I did a brand new cube flew from my mouth and landed in the icy sea. I heard it cry, "I'm free! I'm free! The icy sea is where I want to be!" And as what happens frequently, the cube bumped into a chippie chip and they kissed and the rest was history.
They made out in the ocean famously which caused no commotion because all the chips at sea were doing it, you see. And baby chips grew up quickly from cold and tiny to mighty glaciers in the briny. And, oh! the cube was proud. He shouted it out loud. I was saved by a sneeze and the warming welcome of the cold, cold seas!"
posted by Ed Weiland at 6:01 PM
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