IF! IF! IF! WHAT'S THE DIF?

Who came first? Adam and Eve or, I do believe, the prehistoric? Which was invented first? Bagels, bialys or hot tomalleys? White sliced bread or the color red? Funny money or the Easter bunny? The Model T or the horse, of course? Gasoline or the teen-age scene?

What's the diff? History's just a great big IF. IF saccharine was in and sugar was out, would there be a doubt about our weight and what we ate and in what amount and would calories really count?

IF the wheel was square, how would we get around? IF we all smoked Cuban cigars and drove electric cars and lived on Mars would we still be fighting wars and be at odds about whose gods deserve your prayers or theirs?


IF I'd sold before the bubble, I'd be rich and not in trouble. I'd be worth my weight in gold. IF I just had stayed the course I'd not be better, not be worse, IF I'd hedged my bet I'd be much deeper now in debt.

It seems what irks folks the most is why did the cook burn the breakfast toast? Why is my coffee not hot? Why is my beer not cold? \Why am I growing old?


IF! IF! IF! What's the diff? You choose. You win or lose. You pay your dues, You pray things will go your way. IF they do, good for you. IF they don't, they won't. The truth be known, I don't own a single share and I don't care. I'll never be a millionaire.