WHAT'S NEW?

You meet a guy on the street you're sure you haven't t seen in quite awhile. You smile, say, "Hello. What's new?" Turns out, he's not someone you know. But so what. He's on the spot. He's got to reply.

"You ask what's new? I'll tell you. My uppers. Now I can chew my suppers. My lowers. Aren't they neat? Got 'em free, part of the deal. See my nose? Got the skin graft from my toes. Now when I blow my nose my toes honk, honk. My wig? Hair's a fake. They made it out of lint from a bedroom chair. Do I look square or debonaire? It's what all the hippies wear.

'What else is new? My right shoe. I left it in the monkey cage at the zoo. The ape was agape. The lion roared. The hippo snored. The gnu was bored. The parrot said: "Oh my lord! What's this zoo coming to?

"My heart's a transplant from my aunt. My liver's from an anonymous giver. My brain's from a sliver of Einstein's remains. My pancreas was made from a cow's fat ass."

I was aghast, "You blow my mind. They made your belly from a cow's fat behind?"

"My doc, the vet , knows what's best. What udder part would you suggest?"