Tuesday, November 21, 2006


I've often wondered who cleans up the pooh at the zoo after the animals are through? After they make it somebody has to rake it and take it to the fertilizer factory where it's eventually mixed with mud, then eaten by spuds, greens and beans, all kinds of veggies, flowers and trees, ants and plants, bugs and slugs, worms and other things that squirm, birds that sing, bees that sting and make honey and honey's worth money and, ain't it funny, eventually, indirectly, this shile of pit is gobbled up by you and me.

If we could toilet train the menagerie, design special pants for elephants, underwear for polar bears, diapers for vipers and all snakes with tummy aches, and they'd all do it in an out house there'd be less litter per sitter and what they'd eject would be much easier to collect.

The only sure cure for controlling horse manure, cows' moo-moo-pooh and shicken chit and defecation for all the creature of creation would be to induce constipation and limit evacuation until they can't hold it in anymore. So let the lions roar, the owls howl and cry boo-whoo and the tigers growl and the fowl cry foul! They'll just have to wait to move their bowels.

But who will be in charge of what to do after animals do their doo-doo? A special crew will be assigned to mind the liquid left behind. We'll leave that job up to the GOPee.


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