Sunday, May 20, 2007


I look in the mirror and who do I see? My enemy and he is me. I see lips in twisted angry, eyes red with tears borne of fears that live inside of me. I speak words I never heard me say before. I never swore, I never cursed, the worst four-letter words were hell and damn. How did I become the foul-mouthed hater that I am? This G-D war!

I was stupid. I was dumb. I bought every bit of it. And look what I've become. A killing machine who slays to stay alive, to survive. To protect the enemy Who is Me. When I look into my eyes the only person I despise more than myself is that president. I resent that bastard, I hate his guts. The man is absolutely nuts. He has no heart, no guts. He has no soul.

I never said bad words before. I prayed to God. I never swore. Until I bought Bush's patriotic shit. I couldn't wait to go to war. I was filled with pride inside. I swore to abide by all that honor and flag meant to me. I tried, I really tried. I killed those I was told were my enemy. But they're better than me. They kill to save their family. I kill to save just me.

I was sold a pack of lies. Super-size. Bush, that bastard, him and those nitwits with brains in their rear. Oh, God, forgive me. When I think about what Bush has done I want to take my gun and blast the bastard, that rotten, no good S.O.B. He lied to me and all my buddies dead he said were fighting to save democracy. They died for his hypocrisy. For his lunacy. For his insanity. Not for the democracy he's robbed from me and what's left of humanity.

I pray God will forgive me for what I say. These are words I don't choose to use, but they just pour out of me. The anger boils up inside of me. I was once a kind, compassionate lad who had only love for his fellow man. Yet, every day I fight and kill I feel no thrill as some do. I just strive to stay alive for my family that loves me and for you, too, God. Do you love me?

I know God gave man free will, but still, can he not explain to Bush that what he's doing is insane? Can't he make our thieving, unbelieving president aware of the pain he's causing all humanity? That he must end this madness immediately!

God, forgive me my obscenities. I do not use them willingly. It's just the killing. It's what this war has done to me.


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