GONE FISHIN' LOOKIN' FOR HIS LEGACY

Once upon a time in the days of science fiction many writers made the prediction that a mad tyrant giant ant had devised a way to rule the world with a magic electric ray that put all the people on Earth in his power. Boobman was his game and eating virgin blue-eyed blondes in corn flakes for breakfast was his shameful game. Of course, this illogical story couldn't come true, but just between me and you, I kid you not, It almost did.

The leader was not named Boobman. it was his ailingass for Bushman. He ate brunettes for brunch in bran flakes and stewed prunes---"a double whammy!"---and washed it down with something brown that could have been coffee but smelled more like rum from a bum in an election year.

"Where do you come from?" I asked.

"From dot.com. You get there via the Internet That's the Interstate. Except the traffic there doesn't foul the air and you can pass gas stations as you pass gas and nobody seems to care."

"Are you one of those politicians who lost their positions and now are going fishin' looking for a new mission that will get you on Page One in the final edition?"

"No , I'm looking for my legacy, It fell off when I went in the woods and lost it when I stopped beneath a big oak tree to pee and and an angry squirrel threw acorns at me. "