DON'T CALL ME, YOUR, M. D.--- CALL JOE THE PLUMBER
Joe the Plumber, also known as Plumber Joe, could fix a leak in a week when he was at his peak. He had a secret fixer mix of which I now speak:
Joe pops a glop of bubble-gum in his mouth, chews until his cheek gets weak, his gums are numb, his eyeballs bug. He adds a wad o' chewin' t'backy util his teeth go clickity-clackity and sucks untill they get stuck, quacks lke a duck, moos like a cow, meows like a cat, takes two gulps of mother's milk and sits on a log and barks like a dog, He shouts "'THREE CHEERS FOR SCHMERE NEAR BEER!" and pours it in a fat cat's hat, adds a pound of pure manure---from a horse, of course--- and lets it brew a week or two. Even if this fails to fill the bill he sends this note we quote:
"Flush my mix down a toilet bowl. If it leaves a stain of green or brown wash it down and see me the next time you're in town. If the color's red call your family doc instead,"
All this said, Joe went to bed. He drank a snort of port, a drum of rum, got high on rye and pumpkin pie. Felt superfine on dandyline wine and slurpentine, suffered a six pack whack, almost choked on a diet Coke
Plumber Joe fell asleep for a week. When he awoke he was too weak to leak. So he decided to go with the flow. He now lives with Minnie the Mermaid in the belly of Jonah the Whale fifty fathoms below in the Sea of Pee.
Joe pops a glop of bubble-gum in his mouth, chews until his cheek gets weak, his gums are numb, his eyeballs bug. He adds a wad o' chewin' t'backy util his teeth go clickity-clackity and sucks untill they get stuck, quacks lke a duck, moos like a cow, meows like a cat, takes two gulps of mother's milk and sits on a log and barks like a dog, He shouts "'THREE CHEERS FOR SCHMERE NEAR BEER!" and pours it in a fat cat's hat, adds a pound of pure manure---from a horse, of course--- and lets it brew a week or two. Even if this fails to fill the bill he sends this note we quote:
"Flush my mix down a toilet bowl. If it leaves a stain of green or brown wash it down and see me the next time you're in town. If the color's red call your family doc instead,"
All this said, Joe went to bed. He drank a snort of port, a drum of rum, got high on rye and pumpkin pie. Felt superfine on dandyline wine and slurpentine, suffered a six pack whack, almost choked on a diet Coke
Plumber Joe fell asleep for a week. When he awoke he was too weak to leak. So he decided to go with the flow. He now lives with Minnie the Mermaid in the belly of Jonah the Whale fifty fathoms below in the Sea of Pee.
posted by Ed Weiland at 12:46 AM
1 Comments:
Hey Unk!
Glad to see your rhymes are keeping up with the times. I haven't been by to see such rye but it was nice to read through some of these twice.
Keep it up, it's a great collection, maybe someday it will be archived with the election!
:)
Joel
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