DAMN THE DIETS!
I heap praise on brave gourmets who rave about foods food lovers craveso spare me diets if you please. I am hooked on calories. When I'm in an eating mood, don't give me low cal, low fat foods. I want to salivate in my plate. Let no taste go to waste.
I know it may seem absurd, but I check my watch for early birds. I know it's bad for me to eat deserts until it hurts, that I'll have to pay eventually for my excess, for my compulsion to ingest the foods that make me pop the buttons off my vest. But my molars will not let me rest so I chew the whole day through drooling like the fool I am.
Will somebody please pass the peanut butter and strawberry jam? Another slab of ham. A leg of lamb. A candied yam. And a couple Tums. Yum! Yum! Yum! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chew! Chew! Chew! What's that? Dinners through? I'll be back. What you got for a late night snack?
Damn the diets! Full FEED ahead!