Thursday, March 08, 2007


God sits alone 0n His throne with a cell phone hoping one of His children will call with a "Hi, y'all!" But they don't care if the angels refuse to wash God's underwear or cut His hair or invite Him out to share their fare. They won't even spring for a snack or a banquet Big Mac.

Oh, millions pray to God each day and, yes, bless him in their way, but he gets the appalling feeling they're crawling on their knees hoping He'll hear their pleas for favors galore. When He fails to say OK for what they pray they do their shopping at the Devil's store.

They know the dealer who lives below has prices lower than that upstart, Wal-mart, The Devil fills their greedy need on credit but, let it be said, he warns them they'll have to pay for his merchandise at an inflated price if hell freezes over and is covered with ice.

They sign the devils contract secure in the fact that fires melt ice but this phenomenon never happens in reverse. The clever old con knows flame will melt ice, then with the next freeze the water will turn from rain to sleet to snow and flakes will harden and glaciers will grow and that's when the collectors will reel in the dough for the deal bought by God's ungrateful snots. They thought it was hot and they'd get off scott free. So figured the greedy God defectors. Instead, they learned you gotta pay for what you pray for. Now they're paying the price as they freeze in the ice.

God's children didn't understand ice and fire work hand-in-hand to punish those who do what they do when in the end the devil will get what is his due.

Alas and alack! They're paying it back by feeding the fire instead of their selfish desire. They've lost their soul and are shoveling coal the whole day through and freezing their butt in the buff sitting on ice after dark in a walk-in freezer with a runny nose sneezer, a cough and spit wheezer and the corpse of Julius Caesar having a seizure while picking his nose with a rusty old tweezer.

You never can tell. This could happen to you if you go to hell.


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