Monday, April 02, 2007


Lions growl, coyotes howl, even lowly snakes can hiss, dogs bark, larks sing, when monkeys have a fling and do their thing, it's said, when they're through they sigh with bliss. Dogs bark, and aardvarks vark when they eat beans. Apes cry out with arthritic pain when they get old and can't climb trees.

Wise old owls ask "Who?" but if they knew they might ask "What?" and if they lie they won't tell why. Cats. of course. meow that sometimes sounds like "Wow!" or "How?" or try to moo like a cow. Don't know what reindeers say but they understand Santa's command and that's OK. Rats just squeal and sea lions sound like goats with sore throats.

Parrots have a voice, but have no choice in what they say. Their "Have a nice day" is quite OK, but they don't know beans about what it means. If they knew they'd say "Too-da-loo" or "Screw you!" and add some four-letter words they heard and learned from you.

Sheep say "Bah!" and birds fly cheep and geese "Honk! Honk!" at airplanes flying by, acting like they own the sky. Chickens cluck and ducks quack-quack, but what they say they won't take back.

Mocking birds mock and birds in the cuckoo clock are not cookoo and they can tell the time of day. Big Ben goes "Bong! Bong! Bong!" loud enough to scare King Kong. Birds of prey pray all day for the rain go away so they can go out and play. Seagulls see gulls and guys making love in the skies and Eagles see gulls and they get high. Pelicans can and do what mommies tell them to.

Bats sleep hanging upside down and when they smile it's a frown. Nobody knows what they mean when they crow but crows eat crow when they're Republican politicos. Stripper crows take off their clothes when they do shows where anything goes,

TO BE CONTINUED: There'll be lines about dogs that blog and cats that don't know where they're at, birds that use four-letter words and fish who wish they weren't delish and end up on a gourmet dish. Want to add to the list? Blog me back before you have a Mac attack. I insist.


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