RIP VAN WINKLE, A TINKLER TO THE END

Once twice or thrice upon a time In the town of Twinkle on the shore of Lake Forsaken there lived a man named Rip Van Winkle who changed his last name from Winkle to Tinkle to live up to his shameful fame his urination reputation as the baddest bladder splatter in creation.

Crowds would go to watch his tinkle turn into a flow and hear him say, “When you gotta go you gotta go.” At the end of each flow show viewers shelled out dough, a penny a piece to watch him pee.

As years flowed by and Rip (now everybody called him “Drip”) was going dry, he studied his wrinkles in the bathroom mirror with a sense of doom and gloom. His teen wife, knew each failed tinkle put another wrinkle in her lover’s face, sometimes also in another place.

“Don’t give up the ship, Rip,” said she as they lay in their bridal bed. “I know your flow’s slow, but your drip still goes to where knows it has to go.”

Rip flashed his old style smile. *Tell you what I’m gonna do...” he began, then fell asleep. His flow began, went on and on until every drop was gone. And so was he, the legendary urinary king of pee.

Sure, Rip wet his bed. But as he always said, “When you gotta go you gotta go.”