THE COUNTERS ALWAYS COUNTED
You see, the Counters counted every word, everything they knew no one else would bother to discount. Their provisions leading to decisions were checked and double checked, as one might expect, and always were correct in every respect, indexed, logged and catalogued.
Even though the Counts' immense cross-referencing made no sense it was performed at great expense, computerized and digitized, highly prized by those who trivialize scientists who insist on documentation, detailed explanation and successful litigation in a court of last resort for which there's no retort. Their report, in short, is always final.
But the Counts and lawyers came to blows on which was the best way to blow your nose. At issue, tissue or toilet paper. Nasal appraisal was at stake. Both scored equally on the blows. But since the tissue was more gentle on the nose that's the one the jury chose.
Tissue winner by a nose!
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