FATHER TIME HAS PASSED HIS PRIME
Father Time and Mother Earth wed and went to bed. She was hot to trot, He was not. He was inept, decrepit and tepid. He soon found out sex was no longer his cup of tea.
Mother Earth cried. "You lied. You said you swooned cute Mona Moon and got it on with that naughty asstronaut. You said you plucked Angel's harp from dusk till dawn and twinkled with Shooting Star while Sky Highguy was fighting wars on Earth and Mars,
"I thought you were the hottest guy in the sky. Why did you swear you had those love affairs with that queer in the hemisphere when you never made ii with Miss Milkyway? I say you're a fraud and a ccockeyed clod. What say you to me, Father T?"
"I told you true," said Father T. " I was referring to the former me. In the Tenth Century, B.C. I was the Cock of the Skywalk, the hottest spaceman in Starwars Town, the guy who never let Neptune down."
"But your bubble burst and you left a lot of broken hearts behind when you rocketed to the Twenty First. It's time Father Time hang up his wings and relax in the sack with the cumless Cumulus cloud crowed. That's it! I'll call it quits."
"But what about me?" moaned Mother E? "How can I maintain my reputation as the mother of all creation when my man can no longer do his duty helping preserve the beauty of flowers and trees, the birds and bee, the oceans and seas, our four-foot friends and even the seeds and weeds that breed in the breast of I, the only Mother on Earth?"
Sighed Father T: "It's time we both retire and give the task back to the Great Creator who created you and me and even created creation. After all, who and what are we but figments of God's creative imaginafion. It's time He ends His long vacation and resumes His occupation."
Sighed Mother E: "Yeah, and I'm getting tired of son after son after son. And what happens when they screw up their year? Soon as baby brother's here they disappear with God knows who. Next time I see God I'll say to him, 'Give a girl a whirl'."
"Forget it," said Father T. "After more than two thousand years, you ain't gonnna get it. God's in a creative rut That's what."
Mother E agreed. So wise was Father T. She took his hand and led him back to their wedding bed. This time they'd create a baby on their own So what happened? They had twins. Boys, of course. Cain and Able were their names.
God created a woman for each man. That's when all the trouble began.
Mother Earth cried. "You lied. You said you swooned cute Mona Moon and got it on with that naughty asstronaut. You said you plucked Angel's harp from dusk till dawn and twinkled with Shooting Star while Sky Highguy was fighting wars on Earth and Mars,
"I thought you were the hottest guy in the sky. Why did you swear you had those love affairs with that queer in the hemisphere when you never made ii with Miss Milkyway? I say you're a fraud and a ccockeyed clod. What say you to me, Father T?"
"I told you true," said Father T. " I was referring to the former me. In the Tenth Century, B.C. I was the Cock of the Skywalk, the hottest spaceman in Starwars Town, the guy who never let Neptune down."
"But your bubble burst and you left a lot of broken hearts behind when you rocketed to the Twenty First. It's time Father Time hang up his wings and relax in the sack with the cumless Cumulus cloud crowed. That's it! I'll call it quits."
"But what about me?" moaned Mother E? "How can I maintain my reputation as the mother of all creation when my man can no longer do his duty helping preserve the beauty of flowers and trees, the birds and bee, the oceans and seas, our four-foot friends and even the seeds and weeds that breed in the breast of I, the only Mother on Earth?"
Sighed Father T: "It's time we both retire and give the task back to the Great Creator who created you and me and even created creation. After all, who and what are we but figments of God's creative imaginafion. It's time He ends His long vacation and resumes His occupation."
Sighed Mother E: "Yeah, and I'm getting tired of son after son after son. And what happens when they screw up their year? Soon as baby brother's here they disappear with God knows who. Next time I see God I'll say to him, 'Give a girl a whirl'."
"Forget it," said Father T. "After more than two thousand years, you ain't gonnna get it. God's in a creative rut That's what."
Mother E agreed. So wise was Father T. She took his hand and led him back to their wedding bed. This time they'd create a baby on their own So what happened? They had twins. Boys, of course. Cain and Able were their names.
God created a woman for each man. That's when all the trouble began.
posted by Ed Weiland at 10:25 PM
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