ALL'S FAIR IN MULTI AFFAIRS

Once upon a midnight bleary I said to my girlfriend, "Dearie, I'm weary of the query you subject me to. You know I'm true to you. There's no other."

She replied: "Oh brother!"

She caught me cold, had cause to scold. I came clean, didn't want to make a scene. I admit it. You only know part of it, I also did it with your sister."

"My sister too? Get outa here, Mister Queer. Hit the road, you horny toad!"

"I tried. She was satisfied. I coulda had it with your dad, your cousin Daniel or his Cocker Spaniel."

"You'd do it with a dog, you dog? Don't you know better?"

"It was great with that Irish Setter. But don't do nothin' rash. I pay you cash. I take out your trash. Guard the house, Chase that mouse. Never bark after dark. Prefer fire plug to flowers and trees."

"Please," said she. "Don't play games with me. You live here free. You were once my honey bee. I loved you totally. Now you say you'll get it on with my siblings when I'm gone."

"Oh," I said, "stop that quibbling. Let's go to bed. I'll do some nibbling like you like. I do it better than Ike or Mike."

"I admit you got me there. But I swear there's no other."

"How about my twin brother?"

"Yeah, that's true. Him, too."


"So what's the big to-do? Come to bed, you sexy shrew."

"Oh screw you!"

"So what else is new?"