Tuesday, December 02, 2008

DIAGNOSES FOR THE SICK ECONOMY

Politicians, like quack physicians, make believe they're magicians who can diagnose critical conditions and hope, by hocus-pocus, the problem will go away and everything will be OK.

The theory is there's something sick in the economy and the cure for this disease is drop more money in the pot. If that does not hit the spot, a trillion more, a billion less, will solve the mess that's causing financial distress.

We've traded in our stethoscope for a placebo called hope, just another name for centsless dope, that might pump more blood into the veins and brains of CPAs and PhDs, Wall Street brokers and banker clowns who earn more bucks when UPS are DOWN.

No miracle pill will do the job. Put more dollars in empty pockets of workers who repair streets, build schools, use tools made in US factories, hammers, nails and garbage pales, bathroom scales, railroad rails, tin cans, bedpans, electric fans, bridge spans and vans and trucks that ship them to Wal-Mart stores. What about stylish clothes we wear to share our big fat derriere with anyone who cares to stare, bras that cause the oohs and ahs, all the high priced high spiced pies and cheese and gooey gourmets that create the wiggles, jiggles, swish and sways.

You see, it's not what we do to pad the purse a buck or two, it's not bargain sales, the diet that fails, it's cars we make, steaks that give us belly aches and bigger guts that cause waste around the waist that will put us back in first place in the economic race.

Depression? Recession? We've learned our lesson. The answer: just a lot of fressin'. That'll keep the experts guessin'!

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