Sunday, July 12, 2009


The President hung up the telephone, turned to the microphone. His face was pale. His hands trembled. He tried to restrain the convulsive words falling from his lips. He was about to disclose the most unprecedented event in history since the birth of Planet Earth.

The revelation about to be broadcast simultaneously throughout the world would instill hope and faith in uncountable trillions alive on Earth and trillions more in far flung planets throughout the fearful universe.

“We are about to witness the most unprecedented event since the dawn of creation.” the President began in this historic communication. “If you are standing, please sit down. What I am about to disclose will cause many to cheer, some to flee in fear, most to pray and welcome the dawn of a brand new day. A skeptical few will cry out FRAUD! FRAUD! THERE IS NO GOD! But my fellow Americans, I have spoken to God and He is coming to Earth!”

Sobbing and sighing, laughing and crying, skeptics trying to decide has the President gone insane or is he just playing a political game? The opposition’s position: “The President said it. He’ll regret it.”

The Pope views the news as a sign of hope for a world on the brink. “Just stop and think,” one prime minister said. “Now we know God is not dead. He’s alive and well, at least for a God as old as He must be.”

“Hallelujah!” Christians hailed. “Hope He brings His son along. And all the saints and angels, too. What a family reunion that will be. Ain’t’ nothin’ wrong God can’t fix. And He won’t pull no dirty tricks like those Washington politicos.”

What‘s the reason God’s on this momentous trip on a rocketless ship fueled by His power of creative motivation? He’ll be here in just a second or two. God just has to say: “Be thou there now!” And by His command the trip is done. He decided to take this ride at a time when Earth is on a slide into oblivion?

There are a zillion quadrillion trillion million reasons why which can be summed up summarily: Earth’s lost its soul, is headed for the black hole where all civilizations that have lost control of their original goal must go.

This can be a short stay, just forever and a day, unless some future circumstance merits them a second chance to advance to the democracy they used to be.

If Earth fails a second time, God knows when it will rise again. And He is not about to tell. Suffice to say, Earth has an open date with hell where the devil waits patiently. It won’t take long, a millennium or two will do.

Eternity’s been through this several times before. Will one more time be the last? We’ll just have to wait and see.


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