Monday, June 04, 2007



This is the story of a showbiz romance about a talentless actress who tested for the part of a sweetheart in an old fashioned movie with Oscar potential that was essential to her failing Hollywood career.

The director who coached her in the art of debauchery on the couchery said if she did this and that in each scene on the silverscreen, and appeared off and on in the all together whether she could act or not she'd be hot for an Oscar and become a brand new star. She'd be idolized and highly prized and her salary would be super sized. She'd be all the rage. Her stage name was Flame Fame. Talent was strictly not her game.

Success, more or less, came to pass. It is a fact, this lass who could not act had class. She did exactly what she should and that was good enough for Hollywood. When the studio said wed she wed, then went to bed with every handsome clown in town.

When news got around she'd never turn a good man down, the scandal became too hot to handle. So this actress who could not act got a long term contract that forbade her to shame the name of Flame.

Late in her drear career a film was made. On opening night the sign on the marquee proclaimed: FLAME FAME'S RISE TO FAME. It didn't star the star who couldn't act, but by a talented actress who played the Hollywood game and tried her best not to act that made the role exactly what it was not supposed to be. Critics panned the show because she didn't portray the talentless actress convincingly.

She tried so hard not to act that she scored a dramatic masterpiece. But she didn't do Flame right and her star quickly faded out of sight. She was not seen in the final scene which was played by the no talent look-alike, the real life flickering Flame.

"Lights, camera, action. Take One," the director said. Flame, now old, did what the director told her to do. He said "drop dead." She did.

It was the biggest event in Tinsel Town the day they put Flame Fame down in the ground. She played her most convincing role as they covered up her hole. She looked more alive when she was dead, the critics said.


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