Sunday, August 17, 2008


WARNING! THE NEXT VOICE YOU HERE WILL BE OFFENSIVE AND HARMFUL TO THE EARS OF ALL ADULTS, CHILDREN, HOUSEHOLD PETS AND TAPE RECORDERS WITH HEARING DISABILITIES! (Dead Silence, followed by sound of falling marbles.) A spookes person announces Lame Shmuck George Dubble You Tush, presidunse:
* * *
"Fallow Amirrakins. (Pause as last marble drops.) Tonight is a day that will live in infantry...err...I mean insanity. (He flashes the famous George Tush sneer)...We live in an age of insanity, Those Redneckevick Ruskies shoulda thunk twicet buhfore invading the Great State of Georgia, You Ass Aigh.

"I see on TV and on the interfret Russian tanks marched their feet down Georgia's Peachtree Street, eating good old American pissa pie and watching mommies cry on Peach Tree Street and kickin' over Afghan garbage cans.They ain't gonna get away with that. And iffin they start rapin' our cute belubbid frostytutes, we'll blast 'em off the map andout of Ivan's lap.

When their battleships sail down Lake Punchytrain we'll firecracker them back to Iraq in an ack-ack-ack attack by our crack bb-gun canoe cannon crew,

We gona fight that Cagey Bee no matter how many GIs gits kilt. We're redy to fight the reds for the rigfht to live in the land of the free and the Home of the Atlanta Braves.

So I do be tellin' you right here an' now we at war with Rooshkieville and we gonna win no matter how much dimmonds and rubies it take to push those commies back to the shores of Lake Vodka, But we ain't got enough fuel to take off from Atlantern Airport.

So, until we get the gas to ship their red ass back to Kremlin town, be nice and treat those Ruskies to a little Southen Horsepatality..


Blogger Sylvia K said...

And he is indeed a dumb ass! Thanks for the laugh!

11:22 PM  

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