Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Solomon Wise was very wise. People came from miles around just to hear the sound of his booming voice discussing nuclear fusion which would be just an illusion until Einstein was born to add to the confusion. Wise’s replies ranged from simple things like is the world square or round to subjects more profound like how many ounce make a pound.

Since in this Biblical setting questioners were always forgetting it was too soon after the birth of Earth to make determinations about the future of civilization. Sol wished they’d stick to questions about creation and hope some dope invented a telescope so he could grope with such situations. But Sol had to reply to protect his reputation.

“It’s fair to surmise,” said wise old Wise, “the World is square. If it was round it would bounce up and down until it found solid ground and would land with a big bang and therein lies the tale of the first fire sale since Walmart passed gas that would start the end of the trail of SHELLY SMIT that contaminated the atmosphere from here to there and everywhere in between. And that’s what made the planet green,”

Nobody knew what Sol was talking about, but no doubt, neither did he. And that’s what made Wise so wise. It was good that nobody understood and not understanding made them less demanding of an explanation of what he said he said and meant what he meant he meant. But if Sol could come up with a notable quotable creation, his imagination would be a verification he was the wisest wizard of all. .

A mentor to inventors entered the scene. He invented a scientific device that would precisely settle the irrefutable dispute, who’s wiser, Wise or the Wise Guy? But his advice had a price and both sides had to pay.

The inventor took a locket from his pocket, unlocked it, revealing a tiny mirror. He held the terrific scientific looking glass for all to see. Wise and the wisest of the Wise Guys had a peek. In a commanding voice the scientist said to the locket: “Mirror, mirror, I hold in my hand two reflections for your inspection. Who’s the biggest sucker in all the land?”

The voice in the mirror laughed. giggled and wiggled and went into such convulsions that ii smashed its glass The scientist fled in a flash, clutching the cash. He was the wisest con man in all the land..


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