Thursday, May 06, 2010


According to the Webster Dairy Dictionary, and backed by the Farmer’s Almanac, when a cow says ’‘MOO!” she’s telling her bullfriend what she wants him to do.

To stress her wishes she swishes her tail to and fro and points to the place her better half has to go to help her make a calf. In due course, of course. twin calves are born, a baby bull, an infant cow.

The daddy now knows how to make a steer by whispering in her ear and doing what she wants him to do. Every time she’chose to moo, which she did frequently, the barnyard family grew accordingly.

The cow that mooed was in a moody mood and her dude found the place where calves are created. And she knew how to get her better half to make a calf.

That was many moos ago. Ma cow moos no more because daddy bull refuses to respond to the mooing call. He’s a bushed bull. a worn out dud and doesn’t even want to be the stud he used to be.

Then one day the weary, worn out steer imparted these parting words to the herd who heard his sad farewell:

“I have fathered my last calf and decided to retire from the sire game. I want to relax, watch the TV evening moos, chew my cud and dream of the stud days of my past. I plan to take a long vacation and leave calf creation up to artificial insemination.”

After a mooment of silence, the thousand head the bull had bred bowed their heads and mooed the saddest moo ever heard by a herd.

Now they’re just a lot of chopped meat at the local Wallmart store.


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