Monday, October 25, 2010


Out West where those mountains poke their nose into the sky. The moon looms high and stars shine bright, the sun each day burns clouds away, wind blows strong, then winter snows come along and we string along and wait for spring to do its thing.

Weather changes, works in strangest ways to tell the world it’s all OK, all’s supposed to be that way on a typical day for reasons only seasons know.

The West’s a place where every face wears a trace of wait and see. Whatever will be will be. The decision’s made by TV which relies on weather-wise surprises that can befuddle.

Weatherman predicts a puddle, we get a flood. He calls for heat. There’s snow and sleet. A sunny day? Clouds here to stay. Hurricane? Weatherman’s got water on the brain. Tornado? Where’d it go?

Who could predict it more accurately? Grandma’s afflictions? Television’s electronic predictions? We’ll just have to wait and see.

Monday, October 18, 2010


Why do some trees, oceans and seas. mysteries and incurable disease and hypocrisies live after we’re gone? Why do elephants get years to swing their trunks and flap their ears and snakes enjoy long lives to sliver and make people shiver and quiver at their sight, especially in the dark of night?

Some rattle as they saddle up for battle. Why do they tattle to their enemy before they make an hissssurprise maneuver?

Do lions pray their prey will get away, that the chase is just the way they work up an appetite for a midnight snack of snake on rye?

Meanwhile we human bunglers lack the guile and style to do what junglers do to stay alive, survive on four legs or none as millions of reptilians do.

We do our thing on life’s stage, then disengage at a predetermined age and gracefully bid goodbye to long or shortgevity.

I take pills to defy my ills. I hear about a diet. I try it. I exercise to enlarge muscle size and decrease body weight by not eating as much as I once ate. I shower at an early hour, wake up smelling like a flower. I take a daily tonic, fearing I’ll become a chronic user abuser, that I’ll end up a loser when the Big Chooser in the sky says, “Do you know what, you health nut, when you gotta go you gotta go.”

So I’ll go. To where I don’t know. When I get there. If they reject me expect me back blogging away. Until then, toodaloo to you!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Ain’t it great! I’m returning to the Sunshine State, away from the cold and snow I hate in time to celebrate 88.

If it’s not too late and fate is kind I might find a date with a sexy chick of 66 and if we click and make it we may wed and do what’s said can’t be done. But whether we do or whether we don’t, won’t trying be a lot of fun?

I’m moving back from the Hoosier state where I went to be near my son which was better than basking in the Florida sun. He bought a condo for a lot of dough on the shore in Hollywood and would you know, some gray haired grannies have nicer fannies than teens in jeans trying to make the scene with men of means sucking jellybeans.

The sun shines bright from dusk until dawn, but most things go on between wenches and menches on park benches, making out
like red hot lovers too cheap to pay for a place to sleep under the covers. That’s what keeps them going, knowing what they’re doing is next to the best thing they did when they were kids.
You can get your kicks at 88 with a chick of 66 if you mix reality with fantasy and end up with ants and mo rance in your pants.

Friday, October 01, 2010


I crave a cup of pee producing tea, not a lot, a half a cup will do, a sip, a spot will perk me up alot when am doing the town in my browsing gown, hanging down around my icebound chilly cheeks.

Is it against the law to thaw? Tea or any other brew will do until the dew says howdyDEW to Spring, Booze or tea or any other brew will have to do until Summer heat comes by to greet my frozen feet. The liquids drip past my lips to my hips to warm my thighs and those two little side by side guys to my icy toes, bouncing up to knocking knees with icicles dripping everywhere in polluted body odor air causing endless FROZEestration.

I still drink tea and have the same old VERY URINARY liquidation stimulation, so BRIRRR in mind the following flowing QUART-tations.

THE BODY SAYS: “When you gotta go you oughta know. If you forget you’ll get all wet. Stay dry and let the Arabs sweat and burst in their bubble. If the seas go dry and, oh my gracious, not an oasis any places or a Walmart mirage will be there to massage their camel's humps or change the water in their CaddiLICKS? And where will they rent tents at ten cents on the worthless Yankee dollar?”

MOTORMOUTH SAYS: “Oil costs a lot of dough so pump slow and let Chrysler, Ford. GM, BPee and all the oil toiler spoilers industry know what they owe you and me and this world’s troubled economy.

“Eventually this kick in the gas will pass, but then where will the Arabs be? Up CRIT SHEIKH without a rich desert man in the sand to tell all their BUBBLE troubles to.”